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Friday, 01 January 2010

A Decade in Review

Happy 2010!
I rang in the new millennium partying with my mom and her life long drunks. I was 11 years old and beginning the most important years of my life. I was finishing my last year of elementary school that year. Fast forward 10 years and I am 21 and getting ready to graduate college...That is so crazy to think about.
This decade has been marked by change....more than I ever think I will have to deal with ever again.
My decade included my parents separation, reconciliation, and divorce. (Ironic because 10 years later I may be dealing with the same thing again). The introduction of step parents and various boyfriends (now a husband).
I began exploring with crushes and boyfriends and now and settled with what I hope to be the one and only.
I went to middle school, high school and 2 colleges. I've moved 6 times and will have another this year.
I traveled through half of the country and various family vacations to the beach. I learned to drive, got a job, a cell phone. Hung out with friends, got in trouble, and did not get in trouble for things that if my parents ever found out about might have an aneurism.
I made and lost friends, some very dear to my heart and where ever you are I love you and wish you were still in my life. My friends have moved and become parents and a few have gotten married.
I became an aunt, gained a sister, and 2 whole new families.
I have lost people very dear to my heart including my grandfather, great grandparents, and friends. To all of you, I miss you and I feel your presence all around me. I love you and I know that you are in a better place at peace with God.
These last 10 years have been marked by extreme joy, pain, loss, love and a whole bunch of experiences that I would not trade for the world. I could not have lived in a better time to grow up in.
I hope the next 10 years will be as much of a learning experience as the last. I hope to be surrounded by family and accomplish great things in my life.....Next decade I will be 30......I don't even know how to deal with that.

Sunday, 27 December 2009

Disappointment

What do you do when your parent disappoints you?
When the man who raised you went against everything he ever taught you. When he lied not only to his wife but his children. When in an instant, one phone call, you changed the whole perspective of what you think of him. When you don't want your relationship to change but you know that it will never be the same.
What are you supposed to do?
I don't know how to feel right now. I don't know if you are telling the truth. I don't know wether you really want our family to be ok but I'll tell you one thing, what you did was absolutely unacceptable and you know what you need to do. You are one lucky bastard that your wife loves you and is willing to work past this.

Monday, 06 April 2009

why is it that i can not live anywhere and not have it go to shit in 6 months.
How is it that a parent can not love their child so much that they would rather see him on the street because he cant figure it out by him self then step up and do something with out being asked a hundred times?
How is it that a mother is so certifiably insane that she is so worried about how it looks from the outside that she does not see how bad it is on the inside.
How did I end up here?
Is this the sacrifice I have to make to be with the love of my life?
That I have to deal with all this insanity?
its not fair. I'm trying here. I know he can do it. I know it. If we werent here maybe this would be taken care of, but it keeps getting worse because the depression is getting higher. How do you not see that your own child is falling? Who the hell put it in your head that being a parent ended at 18. WHy did you let your son back into the house? Just to look good? That's not ok. YOu could have said no. Yes we needed this but if I knew it would be like this again we would have found some where else.
iF for just 2 seconds you could believe in him and give him encouragement without slamming him 2 feet lower than he was before maybe he would be better. You don't believe that your own child will get better and he is giving up on him self. The only reason he is still here is fear of hurting me.DO you know that? Me, not himself, because he doesn't want to hurt me thats the only reason.
i wish you could wake up and just help him. help him get set up so that he can get the hell oout of your hair and leave you alone forever because that is what you want right?
SO help him get there.

Monday, 23 March 2009

So there is this new blog thing going around on myspace

here is the petition they are asking everyone to sign

President Obama: Respect My Pro-Life Convictions

JOIN 21366 OTHERS
You have strong convictions, but President Obama says that doesn’t matter. He’s ready to rescind the Conscience Clause.

The Conscience Clause was implemented by former President George W. Bush to give physicians and nurses the choice to act according to their conscience — to not participate in abortion procedures if it conflicts with their personal convictions. If President Obama makes this damaging move, if he reverses the Conscience Clause, pro-life doctors and nurses will be forced into performing abortion procedures, despite their individual beliefs.

The announcement was made Friday, March 6, 2009. Since the official announcement was made, the public now has 30 days to file comments with the White House ... so we’ve got 30 days to make our voices heard at the White House.

Make a difference in this nation and stand for the freedom to act according to your conscience. Sign the online “Petition to Protect Pro-Life Doctors” below now. It will be delivered and filed at the White House no later than April 8, 2009. Get the word out now. BE HEARD!

Petition to Protect Pro-Life Doctors

***

Obama's amendment to this clause was to clarify the amendments that Bush made a month before leaving office.
The final decision to the amendment was clarify the rights of medical providers, stating that they had the right to deny services, and will not receive penalty from their place of work and should not receive discrimination. However, it also states that In the preamble to the final regulation, the Department also encourages providers to engage their patients early on in “full, open, and honest conversations” to disclose what services they do and do not provide. While it would strengthen provider conscience rights, the regulation would in no way restrict health care providers from performing any legal service or procedure. If a procedure is legal, a patient will still have the ability to access that service from a medical professional or institution that offers it. For example, the regulation does not affect the ability of medical institutions to provide abortion services in accordance with the law.

In the month before leaving office, Bush signed this clause, leaving it very broad and easy to form one's own interpretation. This vagueness left it open to anyone in the health field could deny treatment...this means that the guy at the walgreens counter could deny giving you your contreception prescription.

The so-called “right of conscience” rule allows workers at more than 584,000 U.S. medical facilities that receive federal funding to refuse to provide patient care that involves procedures with which they disagree. Critics say the decision will mostly affect the provision of reproductive-health services to women, including abortion, birth control and emergency contraception. They also say it could complicate states’ ability to enforce laws requiring hospitals to offer those treatments, especially the morning-after pill for rape victims.

"In just a matter of months, the Bush administration has undone three decades of federal protections for both medical professionals and their patients," Nancy Northup, president of the Center for Reproductive Rights, said in a statement. "It replaced them with a policy that seriously risks the health of millions of women, then tried to pass it off as benevolent."

obama is for women's rights. I don't care if you are pro-life pro-choice or pro-abortion, please do not take away my rights of contreception

Friday, 13 March 2009

I am NOT looking forward to this week. Ricky's dad comes in today before he leaves for Iraq. This means that all hell is going to break loose because it always does, ricky doesn't get enough done...blah blah blah. You know the conversations you want to have the last time you are going to see your family for the next year. This also means that Doris is going to go neurotic. Ricky accidentally woke her up at four this morning and she has been cleaning up until an hour ago. they are throwing a dinner party tonight and have all sorts of shit going on. On top of that Trey has been throwing bitch fits. And the dog is going nuts because timmy was in town, then he went out of town and then came back in town and left again, we are dog sitting now, and then bill is coming in town and then leaving. I have lost a pair of shoes and a pillow because he started chewing.

I might loose my mind